Too much sugar in my coffee
Sunday, November 15, 2009 / Sunday, November 15, 2009
Just when i thought that i was giving up and letting go of everything thats not meant to be, there you are. Once again, you swept me off my feet. I took 2 steps forward and now im taking 5 steps backwards. It seems like i dont want to move on and feels like im still holding on to you because somehow i know that deep down, there's me inside of you. But a friend of mine said, i should just forget about you after what you said about me. Well, maybe he's right. i should! But my heart is too stubburn to listen and keep on hoping for the impossible.
I hate to be caught smiling when there's nothing that was making me smile. But i was thinking of something though, YOU! i hate how easily you make me smile. Its like watching a romantic teen movie, when that special someone,staring at you in the hall way and you cant stop smiling about it and keep asking why did he looked your way?! Hah~ Well, its something like that. (:
But if only he knows that im smiling at random times because of him.
Love,ErnyRose
Let the rain fall on me tonight
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 / Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The truth has finally came out. Everything and anything that i wanted to know is now planted in my brain. The infromation was too much for me to carry and the words he used are just too cruel for my ears to hear. Once again, im left with a broken heart. I dont understand why, people just doesnt want to take the oppurtunity that has been given for them and i dont understand why they just dont want to open up they're heart for those who opened up they're arms for them cause, things like this does not come easily in Life.
I cried millons of tears tonight. Slowly one by one drop from my eyes. I knew it would hurt from the start but i denied the truth and just go on and hoping that maybe there's a little hope. Just a little. But i guess, a little is just too much to hope for! Cause, deep down i know that there's no way that its gonna happen. And no one is backing me up! cause everyone know's its just impossible to be true. And those who are on my side, are just hoping like i am (was).
There's 4 of us who's love didnt get return back. And 4 us are from the same class, liking those who are in the same class as us except for one. Its funny how we're related by this. And its not funny, how our hearts got torn. But anyways, i hate to be in this situation. Letting go was so hard for me to do last time and now, its just like a piece of cake!
Love,ErnyRose(:
I write your name a thousand times
/ Wednesday, November 11, 2009
There's more than 5 scribbled papers lying across my bedroom floor. Ive been trying to write a song for him but i end up writing a song for *W. I keep on searching for the perfect words in my head and the perfect melody to go with it but nothing came up. Since it was raining heavily, i figure, maybe its a perfect time to write one. But suddenly,out of nowhere, there's a beautiful tune in my head and words that match with my situation, so i quickly type it down on microsoft word. As i was just finishing the first verse, i was disturb. By - Mark, Mathien, FonYih, CheeHou, Immanuel. So im left with an unfinished verse and with a broken heart BUT with a smile. (:
______________________________________
*edited*
So, its 2.07Am rite now.
Everything is so clear to me now. Those questions that ive been asking is finally been answered. And the answers are quite obvious from the start. I cant believe i led myself in this situation. Im such a fool for having it at the first place. She's the smile thats on he's face, she's the tune that he's humming, she's the pillow for he's head and she's the queen of he's kingdom. Im just a frawn on he's face, a broken melody, an unclead sheets and a pauper in he's kingdom. But he's the reason behind those smiles i put on. I cant continue this anymore, i need to stop. I need to leave you alone and find another.
Love,ErnyRose
Tongue tied
Monday, November 2, 2009 / Monday, November 02, 2009
Thousands of words and questions poped into my mind when i saw you. I wanted to say the things that i've planned to say to you but the words just doesnt came out right. So in the end, im left with just a Hi. Talking to you seems so hard nowadays. I dont know if its me but im positive that your making it hard for me to talk to you because when i say a word, you would pretend that you didnt hear anything. Like i wasnt around you, like i was invisible.
Its been so many days, not a word from you. I seriously missed those days when you would just talked randomly about your life to me. But now everything has change, just because of one thing. We dont talk anymore, you dont even take a glimpse of me and you dont even bully me like last time. I hate change! I dont know why, but tears just shed from my eyes when i typed this. *sigh.
Poeple say, why would i wanna go for some one like you? I said, simply because, he makes me feel so alive.
Unspoken Love
Monday, October 26, 2009 / Monday, October 26, 2009
Exam's not over yet. I just need to blog. (:
Saw you coming from far, i wanted to move but at the same time i wanted to stay. Hoping that maybe today, you will atleast say a word to me. But instead, there's not a single word came out from your mouth or even mine. Not even a Hi or not even a smile. I saw you leave and i was hoping that you will look at me before you go but i guess i was invisible to your eyes. Coz you didnt even see me at all.
I watched you from behind and making up little fantasy stories in my head. How i wish you feel the same way. There's so many things that i wanted to express to you, so many dying words that need to be realised from my chest. And so many pain that needs to heel before everything get worst. I rather feel those pain instead of ignorance.
I waited everyday for another exam cause im eager to see you. But what do i get from waiting? Nothing. You ignore me as if i was never your friend. As if that,this feeling wont stop! I really miss those times when you have no clue that i was falling for you. I acted as if everything was normal and you didnt even noticed it. I know your pretending not to know but why do you still ignore me? Oh gawd.
ernyrose.
Exam toture
Monday, October 12, 2009 / Monday, October 12, 2009
OLEVEL IS HERE
I wont be blogging for the time being. Big exam is coming. And i should be studying rite now. My ugama paper1 is 2mrw. So wish me luck. Goodluck to all of you who are taking olevel this year. (: Wish you all the best.
Love,ernyrose.
I feel that we're connected again
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 / Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Your warm hands, your sweet kiss, you beautiful stare and your perfect smile are all the things that i miss the most. I cried today and its all because of him. I stared at him with confusion on my mind, i wondered, where'd did we go wrong? I cant believe i had you once and i cant believe your with someone else rite now. I tried to act tough infront of you. Just to show you that im living my life without you and im fine without you.
But do you know that i still cry for you in the middle of the night? Do you know that i still think about those times that we've shared together? Do you know that, im so weak without you? And do you know that, i still care for you? I dont know if i still have feelings for you or not but i just cant seem to forget about you. I dont why but yeah, i still do. For me to forget you, is to find 2nd best and i did. But he dont feel the same way.
Maybe faith will bring us back together again.
Confused, ErnyRose
Just when i thought that i was giving up and letting go of everything thats not meant to be, there you are. Once again, you swept me off my feet. I took 2 steps forward and now im taking 5 steps backwards. It seems like i dont want to move on and feels like im still holding on to you because somehow i know that deep down, there's me inside of you. But a friend of mine said, i should just forget about you after what you said about me. Well, maybe he's right. i should! But my heart is too stubburn to listen and keep on hoping for the impossible. 
